ZIMBABWE AND MORE

Zimbabwe is a sad place to be at this time. That was my feeling after spending 4 days there. I did not feel threatened or afraid but there was a noticeable tension and fear in the eyes and the behaviour of its people. There was little chatting in the bare, half empty shops as we queued to pay for our kilo of carrots costing billions of Zim.dollars. Yes, I became a billionaire overnight, though when I paid 5 billion dollars for a postcard and stamp I realized it wasn't worth much!
Life in Harare continues as best it can, the city people going about their business and everyone wondering what will happen next. There was a definite state of insecurity and those that would talk with their conjectures of what may happen but not really knowing what tomorrow would bring.We heard many distressing stories of torture and violence and many rumours which all led to a sense of the fear and the unknown.The people feel intimidated and controlled but by what and by whom? Who might be listening who could be trusted? The people are tired of living this way. They just want a normal life but they dont know how it can be nor who will find the way to create this change. They are looking for help .From where? from whom? They are praying to God, they are asking for help, to the rest of Africa, to the rest of the world, they dont know when this will end but they still have hope. I too hope and pray that the world and its powers will not desert them, that a way will be found to ease their pain and their fear and change this totally unacceptable situation that is life in Zimbabwe.

The long road to Harare was a wonderful experience for me. As I was not driving I was able to really take in the beautiful changing scenery as we passed over the Malawian border through Mozambique and down to Zimbabwe. We were able to break our journey with an overnight stay in Tete boths ways. We were wonderfully entertained by friends and I was able to enjoy a truly Mozambique experience as we climbed up high in the evening to watch sunset over the Zambezi river. It was interesting to see and feel the differences between the 3 countries their dress, their villages and their cultures. I was suprised to find the city of Harare so much more of a developed city than Lilongwe with its tall buildings, good roads, lighting etc. The infrastucture is still there, very obviously still present and that is what the people rely on to bring it back to prosperity, as and when this dire situation resolves.
My visit to Zim.was made possible by my good friend Sandy who invited me to accompany her on this trip. She was able to take food and provisions to her family and staff whom without this trip would have been sadly lacking in basic food stuffs and as in the case of the staff become very hungry. They were the lucky ones. As we crossed the border on our return journey we realized that we were the lucky ones. There are many Zimbabweans in the surrounding countries who have not given up hope of things coming right and are just waiting to go home. I hope that will be soon for them.
My best story from my visit is as follows...
When asked "How are you?" doesn't everyone answer "Fine thankyou"
Well it was the same in Zim.
Untill one day I asked the Zimbabwean housemaid at a families' residence.
"I'm not good " she replied.
Full of concern I asked as to what was her ailment.
" My body is fine thankyou" she said, " but my country is not fine, my country is sick and I pray for it to become well"

On Friday I was back on labour ward. My first task was to assist at the birth of triplets. It was a great experience for me and more so as I was able to team up with a young Norweigian obstetrician and work together to achieve a positive outcome for both mother and babies. Just 32 weeks pregnant so the babies would be small and premature. After a quick scan we confirmed they were all presenting breech. (or more acurately feet first) This shouldn't be a problem as it was her 3rd pegnancy and they would be small. As I got to work to deliver the three babies the doctor was scanning and checking heartbeats and positions. We soon had a audience of young Malawian clinical officers and interns looking on. It was great to show, by our example, how to actively manage safely this type of siuation. First a girl weighing 1.400kgs. Then 2 boys both weighing 1.500kgs. I checked up on them yesterday in nursery and they seemed to be doing ok. Its early days yet so I am not being too optimistic but at least they have a chance of surviving. I will continue to follow their progress and offer to help out with clothing, blankets and formula milk, if it becomes necessary.
Due to lack of medical staff and experienced clinical officers I have now learnt and am becoming capable of performing assisted birth with vacuum extraction. I have spent many years assessing the conditions and safety of performing this intervention so have now moved on to take this extra responsibility.
I was particularly pleased with yesterday's events. When taking the decision for an urgent vacuum extraction for fetal distress and finding that the only clinical officer available was involved with an eclamptic mother, I was able to
to perform quickly and safely this procedure and save the baby's life. Alongside me was a young Noweign midwife who had been caring for the mother and recognized the problem. We both felt good after that!
When things are difficult and black we can pull on these moments to keep our spirits up and know that what we are doing is worthwhile.

I have been feeling rather sad and lonely these days.( though my friends are great) I am missing all my children and my family. Its been 6 months now since I last saw them. I know it feels more exaggerated by not having Lucas around but I can't help wondering if I'm doing the right thing being so far away?
How difficult it is at times to see clearly where we should be and what we should be doing. How torn between our responsibilities and our needs. Responsable to who? Needing who and what? I feel I have so much to give so much love to share. Whose needs are more important? I have gifts, we all have gifts, I am enjoying using those gifts but its confusing ......I look for clarity, I pray for guidance. I am thankful for what I have and for where I am, so many people needing help, needing care, needing love..........