Today is Mothers Day here in Malawi. It is a national holiday. It is good that we celebrate the mothers of this country, their strength, their commitment and their love, even under the most difficult of circumstances. And circumstances are very difficult here for women. Being a mother in Malawi is dangerous. Over 800 in every 100,000 Malawian women will die in pregnancy or childbirth. Many women are already suffering from underlying medical conditions (chronic anaemia, mal nutrition, Hepatitis, AIDS, etc.) when the strains of pregnancy and childbirth are added to this, becoming a mother moves from the physiological into the pathological, from ‘normal’ to ‘dangerous.’ Lack of health care facilities, equipment and medication, huge difficulties in accessing the hospitals also adds to the problem. But of course the biggest challenge is the staffing. Never sufficient doctors and nurses to attend these women, overstretched, tired and demoralised the care is often far less than it should be and women die unnecessarily.
As I write I am looking out onto the waters of Lake Malawi. It’s a warm but windy morning. The sun is shining over the lake in front of me and I can see Lucas throwing his line and patiently awaiting his catch. Fishing is his passion. As soon as we arrive he sets up his lines and there he stays for hours. Yesterday evening was a great success, having caught more than 16 ‘little’ fish he is inspired and encouraged this morning! However, like any true fisherman, it doesn’t seem to matter that much if he doesn’t catch any!
I decided at the beginning of the week to spend these two days with Lucas at the Lake. This week is half-term holiday from school. The past weeks, since returning from Europe in August, have been totally hectic. I have been working 7 days a week and often 12 hours a day preparing for the opening of the new maternity unit at Bwaila. I have felt increasingly physically and mentally exhausted and so overwhelmed with the enormity of the task I have undertaken I sometimes become lost. Where is the way forward? Where do I start this morning? Which of the multitude of tasks is the priority? It is so easy to become frustrated, annoyed or angry. Things just take so long, are poorly done or not done at all. Promises are made and not fulfilled. Responsibility and accountability is hard to find therefore even more precious when shown. Recently I was asked by a Norwegian visitor if I was still positive, encouraged, enthusiastic, and energetic? The answer despite everything is quite firmly, ‘Yes!’
‘Let the fire in my heart, let the wind in my sails, let my reason to live......be love’ and if you want my definition of love you just have to look at the bible....1 Corinthians 13. Love is patient and kind. Not jealous, boastful, arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way. It is not irritable or resentful. Does not rejoice in wrong but rejoices in right. Love bears all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.
I’m not saying it’s easy, nor that I manage it all the time, in fact sometimes it’s very difficult and I have to keep reminding myself, but there it is and the closer I try to keep to this the easier it is and the happier I am. It’s about self becoming less important, about looking at the bigger picture. It’s about lots of individuals becoming truly more loving to make up a better world.
At 8am. 1st October, (Fiona’s birthday) after many setbacks in all areas, the Family Health Unit (Out Patient Department) finally opened its doors to the first mothers for their antenatal, family planning, postnatal, immunisation etc. care. It was a truly emotional moment for me. Up until 4pm. the previous day it was still not clear if we would open as some official checks were still not completed but we went ahead. The benches for the waiting area, promised the previous evening, had still not arrived at 7.55am.despite several frantic phone calls on my part. The matrons were eager to let the women in. ‘The lorry is coming through the main gate! ‘I shouted. Benches and women arrived together! Having arranged for the touch screen electronic registration equipment to be transferred the previous evening (I was still on the unit at 8pm.) I was horrified to find that it wasn’t working the next morning. A frantic phone call to the experts assured me they would arrive within the next hour. In the mean time the women were crowding in through the doors but with no way to register them! I decided to take a look. Now my knowledge of computers, as my children will tell you, is not extensive, nor of car engines, but I do know what a car battery looks like and I found two of them somehow linked to the system. Following the cables, as if I was jump starting a dead car battery, I noticed that one of them had become unattached. Red to red, negative to negative.....hey presto and it worked! The curtains came off their hooks, (more DHO workmanship!) the keys to the male and female toilets were identical, causing some embarrassment, the baby weighing scales got hung over the first available door frame, the painter was still precariously balanced on some stacked benches finishing off the health advice and pictures he was beautifully painting on the walls but still the women crowded in and still they sang and danced. More than 400 women and babies passed through our doors that day. It may have seemed like chaos, more or less organized, but all went well. (Malawi style!)
The next challenge was to get the unit ready for the official opening on 7th October. We had already decided that the inpatient side (Labour Ward, theatres and wards ) should not become functional until 19th October when Tarek returns from the FIGO conference in S. Africa. However the two were completely inseparable as the unit should be fully furnished and equipped for the ceremony just leaving a few final details and practicalities to be tidied up for 19th. It was a huge task involving many people, ministry and health departments, suppliers of equipment and services, on site workman, far too many to mention. Some were helpful, some unhelpful, some amazing. Some cared, some didn’t bother, some put themselves out, some did not respond. I pushed and shoved, nagged and pleaded, praised and hugged, laughed and cried as I desperately tried to pull it all together.(Officially known as the coordinator!)
I have never seen so much movement and so much achieved as in the final 3 days before the grand opening! Saturday 3rd saw more than 70 cleaning staff of the unit. Meetings with the MOH and the Vice Presidents Office resulted in numerous visits and checks during the next two days. Official protocols had to be applied to strictly for a full presidential event. Dr. Mary Robinson (ex president of Ireland and current UN Commissioner for Human Rights) was the honoured guest and together with the Vice President of Malawi (Hon. Joyce Banda) would open the unit. The flag pole was erected and the Malawi flag flew proudly at the entrance to our new Maternity unit. The dignitaries arrived early so that they would be in place to greet the Vice President. A grand tour was made of the whole unit led by our DHO Dr. Ndovie. It was an exciting morning, all comments were extremely positive both as to the quality of the unit and the success of the event. The plaque was unveiled and speeches made. Both the speech made by the director of TRP and that of Dr. Robinson were stimulating and challenging. The VP, in her words, showed her surprise at the scale and the quality of the project and its possibilities and potential for improving maternal and child health and addressing the high maternal and neonatal mortality rates. More importantly she pledged her personal and on-going support not only for Bwaila and maternal health but for the women of Malawi. It was a great occasion supported by singing, dancing and ‘Gule Wankulu’ in true Malawian style. You can read more about the occasion on the Rose Project web site. www.
It was a great honour for me to be personally greeted by the Vice President. It was also a huge privilege to be invited to spend some time with Dr. Mary Robinson not only during the ceremony but on other occasions over dinner. Listening to her speak of her international work on Human Rights and especially those of the mothers and babies in the poorest countries of the world I felt encouraged to continue to play my small role in Lilongwe.
The following day there seemed to be a general feeling of lethargy. I spent most of the day sorting out more than hundred and fifty keys that I had in my possession for ALL the locks in the whole unit. I was keen to get at least some of them handed over to the matrons so that I would not have to be solely responsible for opening and securing the buildings every night and morning. As you can imagine this has been very tiring and time-consuming. At last I handed over the keys to the matrons on the FHU on Thursday afternoon just keeping a main door lock and my office. On Friday Lucas started his half term holiday so I decided to stay a little longer in bed, arriving at Bwaila at 7.40am. Rather later than usual. To my surprise I found a vast number of people waiting outside the unit cleaners, nurses and many, many, women and babies. The keys had somehow got left inside the unit and they were all waiting for me to arrive. No one had phoned me, no worry, no rush......this is Malawi!
It was still difficult to get things moving again on Friday and I began to be concerned as to how I would find the necessary to motivate and build up enthusiasm, once more. Just one week before the women would be admitted, just one week before the babies would start to be born in our new labour ward and the place was empty of personnel. There was still much to be done, pharmacy supplies to be ordered and delivered, instruments to be sorted, packed and sterilised, oxygen cylinders to be filled, the wards had to be kept clean and the linen supplied and beds made among many other things. We had organized a ‘simulation’ to take place on the Monday afternoon. This is to ensure that we can respond to an emergency situation that everything is in place for the safety of the patient. How was I to get it all done? Here I must mention Audny. As the Norwegian hospital technician and procurement person she has been heavily involved throughout, though mostly from a distance. The times she has spent in Lilongwe have been a ‘godsend’ for me as she takes over responsibilities for the equipment and it’s functioning plus a many other things. I must admit to doing a bit of shouting and harassing that day which is not the best way and definitely wasn’t very loving or understanding! I decided to take the whole day off on Sunday. It was clear that nothing more was going to get done before Monday.
So here we are in the final days before the REAL opening. It’s exciting, it’s scary, it’s worrying, and it’s incredible! As I sit here and write to you from the peace and beauty of the lake I am thinking of how much more I need to sort out before Monday. I can’t believe we will ever be 100% ready but we WILL be safe. The transfer of patients will take place over three days. That will mean that the first baby will be born in the new Bwaila maternity unit on Tuesday 20th October (Alasdair’s birthday)I can't wait
Tuesday, 20 October 2009
Thursday, 10 September 2009
100% CHALLENGED
Lucas left Lilongwe at the beginning of June travelling to Valencia with his cousin Abigail to spend five weeks with his 'Papa' I was able to make full use of the following two weeks to concentrate fully on the coordination of the furnishing and equipping of the new Bwaila maternity unit. The procuring, ordering, confirming and delivering of each and every item necessary for the setting up of a unit of this size is a huge task. It has been and still is a challenging and often very frustrating process but I feel confident that it is now all 'coming together' and we will be ready for its opening during the month of September. I left Malawi on 18th July for my planned holiday break in Europe. After spending five wonderful days with my eldest daughter, Katy, in Leeds, UK, one of which was spent relaxing and being pampered in a health 'spa,' I flew to Valencia, Spain, to meet up with Lucas and my other two children, Alasdair and Fiona. Needless to say I have enjoyed every minute in the company of my children and friends. The love and support of these people, who are so important to me, reaffirms my conviction that my decision to stay in Lilongwe to continue the work I’m doing with the women babies and midwives at Bwaila is correct. Being in a first world country during these past weeks has not always been easy. It is difficult to completely forget the poverty and conditions from which I have come. It is especially difficult for me when I am in one of the many large, busy, shopping centres. My mind strays back to the villages, the hospital, the people of Malawi and it just all seems too much. How can some have so much and others, just a few hours flight away, have so little, have nothing? How can some people be so preoccupied by material trivialities when others are struggling to feed, clothe and educate their children. How lucky you are that you were born into a rich world that your worries are mostly about the extras and not about the basics, about luxuries and not about survival. I wrote the above soon after arriving back in Lilongwe at the beginning of August. Since then I have often thought about you all and needed to communicate with you but have quite seriously not had the time nor the energy to do so. These past four weeks have probably been some of the most challenging of my life. On my return to Bwaila I was hugely disappointed to find that, despite the huge efforts I made before leaving to assure that outstanding work would be finished or at least well underway for my return, practically nothing had been done in my absence. The jobs that needed to be done ‘on site’ and that I expected to be finished had not been touched and the suppliers of various pieces of equipment and furniture had achieved very little. It was then I decided to dedicate myself full time to pushing and shoving, nagging and pestering, phoning and visiting with a determination that all those who know me will understand. The official opening date of the unit has already been set. October 7th.The unit has to be up and running before that date and I for one was prepared to move heaven and earth to achieve it. And that’s what I have and I am still doing. Moving heaven and earth! Or at least it feels like that. If you’ve never lived in Malawi, though they tell me other African countries are the same and to be honest I guess pulling together this sort of project anywhere in the world would not be easy, maybe you wouldn’t understand, but the Spanish ‘manana, manana’ takes on a whole new meaning here in Lilongwe. I remember back more than 15 years ago when I was involved in setting up a new business venture with my (ex) husband, Andrew. New to Spain and with very little of the language and less knowledge of how the Spanish system worked, the job of sourcing and procuring every little piece of equipment, nut, bolt and curtain hook, for the farm, was my main job. I still remember the huge frustrations of never finding anyone when they were needed, of waiting days and weeks for things that were promised for the following day and finding that many items were just not available. I think that experience has helped me infinitely for the challenges I am facing now. My knowledge of building work, bricklaying, guttering, plumbing, electrics, drains, sockets, taps etc. increases daily. Not to mention the more specialized areas of autoclaves, theatre lights, piped oxygen and anaesthetic machines. Then there’s the procuring of furniture and equipment. I mean, just how many chairs are needed for a 146 bedded maternity unit? And stainless steel trolleys? And why does all the locally made equipment, beds, swab racks, bed pan racks have to be ‘epoxy coated’? and anyway what the heck is ‘epoxy coating’? Just ask me any of this now and I have the answers!I was very happy when the District Health Authority agreed to take on some tasks such as the building of concrete wash tubs for the women to wash their ‘chitenges’ The making of ‘curtain boxes’ for all of the windows and the building of a new road. The unit has been totally funded from outside of Malawi. Mainly from Ireland through The Rose Project but also with Norwegian partners. It will be given to the Malawi government to be run as a public, non paying District Hospital. It was therefore encouraging to see them show their interest in this way. My enthusiasm was somewhat dulled after the new entrance way collapsed and had to be remade. During that time we could not let any vehicles on site for 7 days. I started to panic thinking that I would have to cancel the delivery of materials and equipment which could delay everything. Silly me! The delivery trucks continued to arrive. They parked at the entrance and as if from nowhere there appeared more than ten very fit looking guys who carried the boxes, bags etc. sometimes on their heads, into the unit making several trips with often very heavy loads. But this is Malawi and I shouldn’t have worried. Then when finally they could drive in the lorry carrying the bricks and materials veered off the road onto the pavement smashing the recently laid paving slabs. Not once but twice! I had always been a little Sceptical of the driving skills or lack of but this was just amazing! However I think the best example of the hospital maintenance standards was when I passed by to see how they were getting on with the construction of the wash tubs. Now I am really not an expert but I do know that the water and drains are normally laid before and not after the concrete base. I respectfully enquired but was assured that they knew what they were doing. It was only once the tubs were built that it became clear that the plumbing would now have to be with external piping! It doesn’t look so good but I am assured it works! But that wasn’t the end of the story.... The following day I ’caught’ them on the point of connecting the permanent water pipes to the contractor’s temporary water supply. (An over ground piping that will be removed once the builders leave.) At least I got to that one in time and the proper connections were made. These are just a few stories of the many I could tell you which have caused me to laugh and despair. There are also many more that have been so very encouraging. We have a wonderful site foreman (George) who has always been at my side, listening, understanding, organizing, laughing, despairing, building up and knocking down, putting in and taking out, but always good humoured and willing to help. I have built up a lovely relationship too with many of the workers on site. The only female brick layer, who does a beautiful job, greets me every morning by name and with a huge smile. The gardeners who brought roses to plant just because I wanted them. Not to mention Fyson,the guy who holds the keys. There are more than two hundred keys, two for every door and cupboard on the unit but somehow he knows them all. Actually he’s the second guy to hold the keys and only since July. The story of Andrew, who I have known for over a year since I first started became involved in the new unit, is a long one which is definitely worth telling. This is part of a mail that I wrote to Tarek, soon after the incident, that I thought I’d share with you.... ‘’It’s a huge job I’ve taken on for The Rose Project and I often just wish I was back on labour ward. So much just doesn’t depend on me so I have to cope with the frustration of not getting things right because of someone else. As you said, I can’t change anyone else I can only change me. So I’m having to learn how to cope with so many things that are totally out of my control. I know that’s what you have to do and I am appreciating how hard that is. I have so much more to learn. But that’s not why I sat down to write at this hour. Maybe I’m putting off the moment as I’m not sure if I did the right thing. When I went on site this morning I couldn’t find the guy with the keys. He’s a young lad, always very friendly helpful and we have struck up a relaxed and fun relationship over the past year. I don’t know much about him but I have always had a good feeling about him. I eventually found out that he had been taken to the police station yesterday having been accused by the security guards of stealing a bag of second hand clothing whilst the Norwegians were sorting it all out. ( A huge amount of sheets, material and clothing came over in the Norwegian container.) I was surprised and horrified that he should be locked up in jail without any official charge against him. They also told me he had been beaten up. The charge had to be made by the DHO or myself. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t bear to think of this young lad in the cell now for nearly 24hours and I couldn’t bring a charge for ‘possibly’ taking a bag of second hand clothes. I think I did the right thing? My instincts told me that I couldn’t leave the country knowing he was still locked up. So I went and got him out. I tried to do it the right way. I went to the security firm, I phoned the DHO to get his support and the guy from the security firm came with me. So I got him released. It wasn’t too difficult. I was so naive that I didn’t realize until I was told afterwards that the police officers were probably waiting for me to give them money, so they didn’t get any! Well, Andrew is out of jail. I spoke to him briefly. He is just so young and was very quiet with me. He thanked me but he could hardly look me in the eye. I felt very sad as I have no idea if he is guilty or innocent. Of course he shouldn’t steal, but it was a bag of second hand clothes! He probably has nothing and the temptation was too great. God knows what I would do if I had so little. Would I steal too? Would you? The foreman says they have always trusted him and will probably put him on another site to work. I hope so. I said he shouldn’t come back to Bwaila. So why do I need to write this down? Why do I feel so unsure? It felt so right at the time.’’
Andrew has been to visit me twice since my return. Both his parents are dead, he lives with his only living brother here in Lilongwe. He is now unemployed as the contractor fired him due to the allegations made against him. He calls me ‘mama’ and seems to be waiting for me to sort things out for him. At present I am not sure what I should do. He thanks God daily for the love I have shown him. How will I continue to show him that love?
You can tell that I haven’t written for two months..... I have so much to tell.
An important part of my work is with the nurses/ midwives and now especially with the matrons. Recognizing the huge differences that will be encountered by all the staff when we finally transfer to the new unit I consider that some training and especially team building is vital. Along with the matrons, who are now taking a very active role in facilitating the groups, I am dedicating our weekly ‘in service’ training sessions to this end. On returning from Europe and taking up the sessions again (which by the way continued extremely successfully during my absence) I became overwhelmed by the task of successfully ensuring team leadership. This is going to be vital in the new unit as we start off with an almost totally new team. Before leaving for Europe I had already discussed the situation with a Malawian led NGO who specialize in Quality Improvement and leadership training. The head of this initiative is a very inspiring Malawian guy whom I felt really understood the unique situation at Bwaila. I contacted him soon after returning and was thrilled and extremely relieved to hear that he had already found funding for us and was prepared to become wholly involved in our leadership training. These sessions have now started and the staff are making weekly visits to the unit with their leaders, sorting out work plans, equipment needs, patient flow, as well as practical details of ordering and storage of materials etc. We will be visiting the public hospital in Blantyre next week to discuss and learn from them. As you can see it all sounds very busy......well it is! It is still a race against time to get the unit up and running before the end of the month but I am determined to do all I can to achieve this. The DHO, who has been away for the past five weeks, is now back and becoming involved. He is/will be ultimately responsible for the new unit. We have a good relationship and I am convinced that he will do all he can to make a success of it. (Taking into account the very limited resources and budget he has to work with.)
On a different note I experienced a rather violent attack on my person a few weeks ago. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time my car window was smashed with a machete knife and my hand bag stolen. Fortunately I only received scratches from broken glass and bruising to my arm. It has not had a lasting effect on me. I don’t feel as if I am in any more danger than I did before and continue to ask myself whether this type of violence is due to extreme poverty or greed? On a more positive note we have some great friends over here who can be relied on for love and support as well as practical help. Lucas is back at school and after a difficult first week as he adapted back to the constraints of being in school is also finding his way and happy to be here. The contact I have with my older children, though never enough, makes me very happy. They are all doing fine, finding their way in life with all its ups and downs, growing and learning, continuing to develop into wonderful young people and I am so proud of them. Both for you and for them I encourage you to find your dream and have the courage to follow where it leads.
Andrew has been to visit me twice since my return. Both his parents are dead, he lives with his only living brother here in Lilongwe. He is now unemployed as the contractor fired him due to the allegations made against him. He calls me ‘mama’ and seems to be waiting for me to sort things out for him. At present I am not sure what I should do. He thanks God daily for the love I have shown him. How will I continue to show him that love?
You can tell that I haven’t written for two months..... I have so much to tell.
An important part of my work is with the nurses/ midwives and now especially with the matrons. Recognizing the huge differences that will be encountered by all the staff when we finally transfer to the new unit I consider that some training and especially team building is vital. Along with the matrons, who are now taking a very active role in facilitating the groups, I am dedicating our weekly ‘in service’ training sessions to this end. On returning from Europe and taking up the sessions again (which by the way continued extremely successfully during my absence) I became overwhelmed by the task of successfully ensuring team leadership. This is going to be vital in the new unit as we start off with an almost totally new team. Before leaving for Europe I had already discussed the situation with a Malawian led NGO who specialize in Quality Improvement and leadership training. The head of this initiative is a very inspiring Malawian guy whom I felt really understood the unique situation at Bwaila. I contacted him soon after returning and was thrilled and extremely relieved to hear that he had already found funding for us and was prepared to become wholly involved in our leadership training. These sessions have now started and the staff are making weekly visits to the unit with their leaders, sorting out work plans, equipment needs, patient flow, as well as practical details of ordering and storage of materials etc. We will be visiting the public hospital in Blantyre next week to discuss and learn from them. As you can see it all sounds very busy......well it is! It is still a race against time to get the unit up and running before the end of the month but I am determined to do all I can to achieve this. The DHO, who has been away for the past five weeks, is now back and becoming involved. He is/will be ultimately responsible for the new unit. We have a good relationship and I am convinced that he will do all he can to make a success of it. (Taking into account the very limited resources and budget he has to work with.)
On a different note I experienced a rather violent attack on my person a few weeks ago. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time my car window was smashed with a machete knife and my hand bag stolen. Fortunately I only received scratches from broken glass and bruising to my arm. It has not had a lasting effect on me. I don’t feel as if I am in any more danger than I did before and continue to ask myself whether this type of violence is due to extreme poverty or greed? On a more positive note we have some great friends over here who can be relied on for love and support as well as practical help. Lucas is back at school and after a difficult first week as he adapted back to the constraints of being in school is also finding his way and happy to be here. The contact I have with my older children, though never enough, makes me very happy. They are all doing fine, finding their way in life with all its ups and downs, growing and learning, continuing to develop into wonderful young people and I am so proud of them. Both for you and for them I encourage you to find your dream and have the courage to follow where it leads.
100% CHALLENGED
Lucas left Lilongwe at the beginning of June travelling to Valencia with his cousin Abigail to spend five weeks with his 'Papa' I was able to make full use of the following two weeks to concentrate fully on the coordination of the furnishing and equipping of the new Bwaila maternity unit. The procuring, ordering, confirming and delivering of each and every item necessary for the setting up of a unit of this size is a huge task. It has been and still is a challenging and often very frustrating process but I feel confident that it is now all 'coming together' and we will be ready for its opening during the month of September. I left Malawi on 18th July for my planned holiday break in Europe. After spending five wonderful days with my eldest daughter, Katy, in Leeds, UK, one of which was spent relaxing and being pampered in a health 'spa,' I flew to Valencia, Spain, to meet up with Lucas and my other two children, Alasdair and Fiona. Needless to say I have enjoyed every minute in the company of my children and friends. The love and support of these people, who are so important to me, reaffirms my conviction that my decision to stay in Lilongwe to continue the work I’m doing with the women babies and midwives at Bwaila is correct. Being in a first world country during these past weeks has not always been easy. It is difficult to completely forget the poverty and conditions from which I have come. It is especially difficult for me when I am in one of the many large, busy, shopping centres. My mind strays back to the villages, the hospital, the people of Malawi and it just all seems too much. How can some have so much and others, just a few hours flight away, have so little, have nothing? How can some people be so preoccupied by material trivialities when others are struggling to feed, clothe and educate their children. How lucky you are that you were born into a rich world that your worries are mostly about the extras and not about the basics, about luxuries and not about survival.
I wrote the above soon after arriving back in Lilongwe at the beginning of August. Since then I have often thought about you all and needed to communicate with you but have quite seriously not had the time nor the energy to do so.
These past four weeks have probably been some of the most challenging of my life.
On my return to Bwaila I was hugely disappointed to find that, despite the huge efforts I made before leaving to assure that outstanding work would be finished or at least well underway for my return, practically nothing had been done in my absence.The jobs that needed to be done ‘on site’ and that I expected to be finished had not been touched and the suppliers of various pieces of equipment and furniture had achieved very little. It was then I decided to dedicate myself full time to pushing and shoving, nagging and pestering, phoning and visiting with a determination that all those who know me will understand.
The official opening date of the unit had already been set. October 7th.The unit had to be up and running before that date and I for one was prepared to move heaven and earth to achieve it. And that’s what I have and I am still doing. Moving heaven and earth! Or at least it feels like that. If you’ve never lived in Malawi, though they tell me other African countries are the same and to be honest I guess pulling together this sort of project anywhere in the world would not be easy, maybe you wouldn’t understand, but the Spanish ‘manana, manana’ takes on a whole new meaning here in Lilongwe. I remember back more than 15 years ago when I was involved in setting up a new business venture with my (ex) then husband, Andrew. New to Spain and with very little of the language and less knowledge of how the Spanish system worked, the job of sourcing and procuring every little piece of equipment, nut, bolt and curtain hook, for the farm, was my main job. I still remember the huge frustrations of never finding anyone when they were needed, of waiting days and weeks for things that were promised for the following day and many items were just not available. I think that experience has helped me infinitely for the challenges I am facing now. My knowledge of building work, bricklaying, guttering, plumbing, electrics, drains, sockets, taps etc. increases daily. Not to mention the more specialized areas of autoclaves, theatre lights, piped oxygen and anaesthetic machines. Then there’s the procuring of furniture and equipment. I mean, just how many chairs are needed for a 146 bedded maternity unit? And stainless steel trolleys? And why does all the locally made equipment, beds, swab racks, bed pan racks have to be ‘epoxy coated’? and actually what the heck is ‘epoxy coating’? Just ask me any of this now and I will let you know!
I was very happy when the District Health Authority agreed to take on some tasks such as the building of concrete wash tubs for the women to wash their ‘chitenges’ Making of ‘curtain boxes’ for all windows, building of a new road. The unit has been totally funded from outside of Malawi. Mainly from Ireland through The Rose Project but also with Norwegian partners. It will be given to the Malawi government to be run as a public, non paying District Hospital. It was therefore encouraging to see them show their interest in this way. My enthusiasm was somewhat dulled after the new entrance way collapsed and had to be remade. During that time we could not let any vehicles on site for 7 days. I started to panic thinking that I would have to cancel the delivery of equipment which would delay everything. Silly me! The delivery trucks continued to arrive. They parked at the entrance and from nowhere appeared more than ten very fit looking guys who carried the boxes etc. sometimes on their heads, into the unit making several trips with often very heavy loads. But this is Malawi and I shouldn’t have worried. Then when they could drive in lorry carrying the bricks and materials veered off the road onto the pavement smashing the recently laid paving slabs. Not once but twice! But I think the best example of the hospital maintenance standards was when I passed by to see how they were getting on with the wash tubs. Now I am really not an expert but I do know that the water and drains are normally laid before and not after the concrete base. I respectfully enquired but was assured that they knew what they were doing. It was only once the tubs were built they realized that the plumbing would now have to be with external piping! It doesn’t look so good but I am assured it works! But that wasn’t the end of the story.... The following day I ’caught’ them on the point of connecting the water pipes to the contractor’s temporary water supply. An over ground piping that will be removed once the builders leave. At least I got to that one in time and the proper connections were made. These are just a few stories of the many I could tell you which have caused me to laugh and despair. There are also many more that have been so encouraging. A wonderful site foreman (George) who had always been at my side, listening, understanding, organizing, laughing, despairing, building up and knocking down, putting in and taking out, but always good humoured and willing to help. I have built up a lovely relationship too with many of the workers on site. The only female brick layer, who does a beautiful job, greets me every morning by name and with a huge smile. The gardeners who brought roses to plant just because I wanted them. Not to mention Fyson,the guy who holds the keys. There are more than one hundred keys to every door and cupboard on the unit and he knows them all. Actually he’s the second guy to hold the keys and only since July. The story of Andrew, who I have known for over a year since I first started became involved in the new unit, is a long one which is definitely worth telling.
This is part of a mail that I wrote to Tarek soon after the incident that I thought I’d share with you....
I
It’s a huge job I’ve taken on for The Rose Project and I often just wish I was back on labour ward. So much just doesn’t depend on me so I have to cope with the frustration of not getting things right because of someone else. As you said, I can’t change anyone else I can only change me. So I’m having to learn how to cope with so many things that are totally out of my control. I know that’s what you have to do and I am appreciating how hard that is. I have so much more to learn.
But that’s not why I sat down to write at this hour. Maybe I’m putting off the moment as I’m not sure if I did the right thing.
When I went on site this morning I couldn’t find the guy with the keys. He’s a young lad, always very friendly helpful and we have struck up a relaxed and fun relationship over the past year. I don’t know much about him but I have always had a good feeling about him. I eventually found out that he had been taken to the police station yesterday having been accused by the security guards of stealing a bag of 2nd hand clothing whilst the Norwegians were sorting it all out. ( A huge amount of sheets, material and clothing came over in the container.) I was surprised and horrified that he should be locked up in jail without even any charge against him. They also told me he had been beaten up. The charge had to be made by the DHO or myself. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t bear to think of this young lad in the cell now for nearly 24hours and I couldn’t bring a charge for ‘possibly’ taking a bag of 2nd hand clothes. I think I did the right thing. My instincts told me that I couldn’t leave the country knowing he was still locked up. So I went and got him out. I tried to do it the right way. I went to the security firm, I phoned the DHO to get his support and the guy from the security firm came with me. So I got him released. It wasn’t too difficult. I was so naive that I didn’t realize until I was told afterwards that the police officers were waiting for me to give them money, so they didn’t get any! Well, Andrew is out of jail. I spoke to him briefly, he is just so young and was very quiet with me. He thanked me but he could hardly look me in the eye. I felt very sad as I have no idea if he is guilty or innocent. Of course he shouldn’t steal, but it was a bag of 2nd hand clothes! He probably has nothing and the temptation was too great. God knows what I would do if I had so little. Would I steal too? Would you? The foreman says they have always trusted him and will probably put him on another site to work. I hope so. I said he shouldn’t come back to Bwaila. So why do I need to write this down? Why do I feel so unsure? It felt so right at the time.
You can tell that I havn’t written for two months...I have so much to tell.
An important part of my work is with the nurses/ midwives and now especially with the matrons. Recognizing the huge differences that will be encountered by all the staff when we finally transfer to the new unit I have considered that some training and especially team building is vital. Along with the matrons, who are now taking a very active role in facilitating the groups, I have dedicated our weekly in service training sessions to this end. On returning from Europe and taking up the sessions again (which by the way continued extremely successfully during my absence) I became overwhelmed by the task of successfully ensuring team leader ship. This is going to be vital in the new unit as we start off with an almost totally new team. Before leaving for Europe I had already discussed the situation with a Malawian led NGO who specialize in Quality Improvement and leadership training. The head of this initiative is a very inspiring Malawian guy whom I felt really understood the unique situation at Bwaila. I contacted him soon after returning and was thrilled and extremely relieved to hear that he had already found funding for us and was prepared to become wholly involved in our leadership training. These sessions have now started and the staff are making weekly visits to the unit with their leaders, sorting out work plans, equipment needs, patient flow as well practical details of ordering and storage of materials etc. We will be visiting the public hospital in Blantyre next week to discuss and learn from them.
As you can see it all sounds very busy......well it is! It is still a race against time to get the unit up and running before the end of the month but I am determined to do all I can to achieve this. The DHO, who has been away for the past five weeks, is now back and becoming involved. He is/will be ultimately responsible for the new unit. We have a good relationship and I am convinced that he will do all he can to make a success of it. (Taking into account the very limited resources and budget he has to work with.)
On a different note I experienced a rather violent attack on my person a few weeks ago. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time my car window was smashed with a machete knife and my hand bag stolen. Fortunately I only received scratches from broken glass and bruising to my arm. It has not had a lasting effect on me. I don’t feel as if I am in any more danger than I did before and continue to ask myself whether this type of violence is due to extreme poverty or greed?
On a more positive note we have some great friends over here who can be relied on for love and support as well as practical help. Lucas is back at school and after a difficult first week as he adapted back to the constraints of being in school is also finding his way and happy to be there. The contact I have with my older children, though never often enough, makes me very happy. They are all doing fine, finding their way in life with all its ups and downs, growing and learning, continuing to develop into wonderful young people and I am so proud of them.
Both for you and for them I encourage you to find your dream and have the courage to follow where it leads.
ilongwe
I wrote the above soon after arriving back in Lilongwe at the beginning of August. Since then I have often thought about you all and needed to communicate with you but have quite seriously not had the time nor the energy to do so.
These past four weeks have probably been some of the most challenging of my life.
On my return to Bwaila I was hugely disappointed to find that, despite the huge efforts I made before leaving to assure that outstanding work would be finished or at least well underway for my return, practically nothing had been done in my absence.The jobs that needed to be done ‘on site’ and that I expected to be finished had not been touched and the suppliers of various pieces of equipment and furniture had achieved very little. It was then I decided to dedicate myself full time to pushing and shoving, nagging and pestering, phoning and visiting with a determination that all those who know me will understand.
The official opening date of the unit had already been set. October 7th.The unit had to be up and running before that date and I for one was prepared to move heaven and earth to achieve it. And that’s what I have and I am still doing. Moving heaven and earth! Or at least it feels like that. If you’ve never lived in Malawi, though they tell me other African countries are the same and to be honest I guess pulling together this sort of project anywhere in the world would not be easy, maybe you wouldn’t understand, but the Spanish ‘manana, manana’ takes on a whole new meaning here in Lilongwe. I remember back more than 15 years ago when I was involved in setting up a new business venture with my (ex) then husband, Andrew. New to Spain and with very little of the language and less knowledge of how the Spanish system worked, the job of sourcing and procuring every little piece of equipment, nut, bolt and curtain hook, for the farm, was my main job. I still remember the huge frustrations of never finding anyone when they were needed, of waiting days and weeks for things that were promised for the following day and many items were just not available. I think that experience has helped me infinitely for the challenges I am facing now. My knowledge of building work, bricklaying, guttering, plumbing, electrics, drains, sockets, taps etc. increases daily. Not to mention the more specialized areas of autoclaves, theatre lights, piped oxygen and anaesthetic machines. Then there’s the procuring of furniture and equipment. I mean, just how many chairs are needed for a 146 bedded maternity unit? And stainless steel trolleys? And why does all the locally made equipment, beds, swab racks, bed pan racks have to be ‘epoxy coated’? and actually what the heck is ‘epoxy coating’? Just ask me any of this now and I will let you know!
I was very happy when the District Health Authority agreed to take on some tasks such as the building of concrete wash tubs for the women to wash their ‘chitenges’ Making of ‘curtain boxes’ for all windows, building of a new road. The unit has been totally funded from outside of Malawi. Mainly from Ireland through The Rose Project but also with Norwegian partners. It will be given to the Malawi government to be run as a public, non paying District Hospital. It was therefore encouraging to see them show their interest in this way. My enthusiasm was somewhat dulled after the new entrance way collapsed and had to be remade. During that time we could not let any vehicles on site for 7 days. I started to panic thinking that I would have to cancel the delivery of equipment which would delay everything. Silly me! The delivery trucks continued to arrive. They parked at the entrance and from nowhere appeared more than ten very fit looking guys who carried the boxes etc. sometimes on their heads, into the unit making several trips with often very heavy loads. But this is Malawi and I shouldn’t have worried. Then when they could drive in lorry carrying the bricks and materials veered off the road onto the pavement smashing the recently laid paving slabs. Not once but twice! But I think the best example of the hospital maintenance standards was when I passed by to see how they were getting on with the wash tubs. Now I am really not an expert but I do know that the water and drains are normally laid before and not after the concrete base. I respectfully enquired but was assured that they knew what they were doing. It was only once the tubs were built they realized that the plumbing would now have to be with external piping! It doesn’t look so good but I am assured it works! But that wasn’t the end of the story.... The following day I ’caught’ them on the point of connecting the water pipes to the contractor’s temporary water supply. An over ground piping that will be removed once the builders leave. At least I got to that one in time and the proper connections were made. These are just a few stories of the many I could tell you which have caused me to laugh and despair. There are also many more that have been so encouraging. A wonderful site foreman (George) who had always been at my side, listening, understanding, organizing, laughing, despairing, building up and knocking down, putting in and taking out, but always good humoured and willing to help. I have built up a lovely relationship too with many of the workers on site. The only female brick layer, who does a beautiful job, greets me every morning by name and with a huge smile. The gardeners who brought roses to plant just because I wanted them. Not to mention Fyson,the guy who holds the keys. There are more than one hundred keys to every door and cupboard on the unit and he knows them all. Actually he’s the second guy to hold the keys and only since July. The story of Andrew, who I have known for over a year since I first started became involved in the new unit, is a long one which is definitely worth telling.
This is part of a mail that I wrote to Tarek soon after the incident that I thought I’d share with you....
I
It’s a huge job I’ve taken on for The Rose Project and I often just wish I was back on labour ward. So much just doesn’t depend on me so I have to cope with the frustration of not getting things right because of someone else. As you said, I can’t change anyone else I can only change me. So I’m having to learn how to cope with so many things that are totally out of my control. I know that’s what you have to do and I am appreciating how hard that is. I have so much more to learn.
But that’s not why I sat down to write at this hour. Maybe I’m putting off the moment as I’m not sure if I did the right thing.
When I went on site this morning I couldn’t find the guy with the keys. He’s a young lad, always very friendly helpful and we have struck up a relaxed and fun relationship over the past year. I don’t know much about him but I have always had a good feeling about him. I eventually found out that he had been taken to the police station yesterday having been accused by the security guards of stealing a bag of 2nd hand clothing whilst the Norwegians were sorting it all out. ( A huge amount of sheets, material and clothing came over in the container.) I was surprised and horrified that he should be locked up in jail without even any charge against him. They also told me he had been beaten up. The charge had to be made by the DHO or myself. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t bear to think of this young lad in the cell now for nearly 24hours and I couldn’t bring a charge for ‘possibly’ taking a bag of 2nd hand clothes. I think I did the right thing. My instincts told me that I couldn’t leave the country knowing he was still locked up. So I went and got him out. I tried to do it the right way. I went to the security firm, I phoned the DHO to get his support and the guy from the security firm came with me. So I got him released. It wasn’t too difficult. I was so naive that I didn’t realize until I was told afterwards that the police officers were waiting for me to give them money, so they didn’t get any! Well, Andrew is out of jail. I spoke to him briefly, he is just so young and was very quiet with me. He thanked me but he could hardly look me in the eye. I felt very sad as I have no idea if he is guilty or innocent. Of course he shouldn’t steal, but it was a bag of 2nd hand clothes! He probably has nothing and the temptation was too great. God knows what I would do if I had so little. Would I steal too? Would you? The foreman says they have always trusted him and will probably put him on another site to work. I hope so. I said he shouldn’t come back to Bwaila. So why do I need to write this down? Why do I feel so unsure? It felt so right at the time.
You can tell that I havn’t written for two months...I have so much to tell.
An important part of my work is with the nurses/ midwives and now especially with the matrons. Recognizing the huge differences that will be encountered by all the staff when we finally transfer to the new unit I have considered that some training and especially team building is vital. Along with the matrons, who are now taking a very active role in facilitating the groups, I have dedicated our weekly in service training sessions to this end. On returning from Europe and taking up the sessions again (which by the way continued extremely successfully during my absence) I became overwhelmed by the task of successfully ensuring team leader ship. This is going to be vital in the new unit as we start off with an almost totally new team. Before leaving for Europe I had already discussed the situation with a Malawian led NGO who specialize in Quality Improvement and leadership training. The head of this initiative is a very inspiring Malawian guy whom I felt really understood the unique situation at Bwaila. I contacted him soon after returning and was thrilled and extremely relieved to hear that he had already found funding for us and was prepared to become wholly involved in our leadership training. These sessions have now started and the staff are making weekly visits to the unit with their leaders, sorting out work plans, equipment needs, patient flow as well practical details of ordering and storage of materials etc. We will be visiting the public hospital in Blantyre next week to discuss and learn from them.
As you can see it all sounds very busy......well it is! It is still a race against time to get the unit up and running before the end of the month but I am determined to do all I can to achieve this. The DHO, who has been away for the past five weeks, is now back and becoming involved. He is/will be ultimately responsible for the new unit. We have a good relationship and I am convinced that he will do all he can to make a success of it. (Taking into account the very limited resources and budget he has to work with.)
On a different note I experienced a rather violent attack on my person a few weeks ago. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time my car window was smashed with a machete knife and my hand bag stolen. Fortunately I only received scratches from broken glass and bruising to my arm. It has not had a lasting effect on me. I don’t feel as if I am in any more danger than I did before and continue to ask myself whether this type of violence is due to extreme poverty or greed?
On a more positive note we have some great friends over here who can be relied on for love and support as well as practical help. Lucas is back at school and after a difficult first week as he adapted back to the constraints of being in school is also finding his way and happy to be there. The contact I have with my older children, though never often enough, makes me very happy. They are all doing fine, finding their way in life with all its ups and downs, growing and learning, continuing to develop into wonderful young people and I am so proud of them.
Both for you and for them I encourage you to find your dream and have the courage to follow where it leads.
ilongwe
Wednesday, 8 July 2009
YESTERDAY IS HISTORY, TOMORROW ‘S A MYSTERY, TODAY IS A GIFT.
THAT’S WHY IT’S CALLED PRESENT.
Tomorrow Malawi celebrates 45 years of independence. 45years since the end of the British Colonial rule and this is its motto of the day. It somehow sums up how life is lived here, with little provision and planning for the future. Yet another conflicting message for me to try and sort out within the context of the immense poverty and suffering I witness daily. It so makes sense to savour and appreciate the beauty of today. To give thanks for the meal I am about to eat, the friends I spent the day with at the side of beautiful Lake Malawi, the sunset across the African sky as I drove back to Lilongwe, for the fact that I am alive. I love and feel loved. But at a political level where is the grand plan for the future that gives hope to the poor and underprivileged? Hope to the women and babies who continue to die in childbirth due to lack of doctors and midwives to care for them. Hope to the uneducated children, the hungry, the homeless and the sick. It is obviously a mystery. The ruling party was re elected recently with a huge majority. The new budget was announced on Friday. The civil servants will receive a 15% pay rise.( ALL civil servants.) The rich continue to get richer and for the nurses, 15% of very,very, little still remains at very little! Malawi is moving on but Malawi has a long way to go.
My niece Abigail and her friend have been staying with us for the past 3 weeks. They are both medical students and were able to accompany me on labour ward a few times observing and learning basic procedures. They also took some trips out into the villages to follow up some of my babies. The triplets are doing extremely well and we are continuing to support them with the provision of formula milk powder to supplement breast feeding. They live in a particularly poor village suburb of Lilongwe just 20 minutes drive from the centre. When we arrived for the first visit we were appalled at the number of very drunk men who came out to greet us. This was not like any other village I had been to. The feeling was not good. We immediately became aware of the lack of community spirit and family support groups that are present in most villages. I will continue to visit for as long as they need our support.
Lucas left with them last Friday. He will spend a month with his daddy in Valencia. He was really excited to be seeing all the family both in UK and Spain. The house is very quiet without him. I miss his happy chatter and his cheeky face.
However it is a good time for me to be alone as the organizing and planning details for the new maternity unit are taking up a huge amount of my time. To such extent that I have left labour ward for a while and am dedicating myself to help ensure that the final ordering and delivery of the furniture and equipment is taking place. I am also involved in the orientation and adaptation of the new staff for the unit. I am leading a weekly team building session for these nurse/midwives, part of which is making visits to the new buildings to try and familiarize ourselves with the totally new environment before we move in. These are important sessions which are also about creating enthusiasm and excitement for the project and helping the staff to feel prepared for change. The new labour ward is a totally innovative concept here in Africa. Each woman will have her own individual room for labour and birth. The potential for this unit is vast as we become more woman centred. Concepts such as privacy, freedom of movement, birthing options, male involvement, presence of guardians or family members, informed choice leading to increasingly empowering women, are all new and will need to be sensitively approached and gradually implemented. I feel very fortunate to be able to be involved at this time and help to lead the way to change.
Staffing, or should I say lack of it, is still our biggest challenge. To this end we are trying to find ways of attracting more staff to the new unit. One of these ways is through the sponsorship of student midwives who would then bond themselves to work on the new unit for a period of 2 years after training. If anyone is interested in this type of support please contact me.
Yesterday I received the first delivery of equipment. 20 new beds were put into the new labour ward rooms! It was an emotional and exciting moment. I have become increasingly involved in this project during my 18months here at Bwaila but the congratulations must go to those who initiated and believed in it from its conception over 4 years ago. Their dream of providing the poorest women and babies of Lilongwe a decent, respectful place to birth will soon become reality. We who have moved in since will help them to achieve that dream.
As I drove to the hospital this morning I noticed that the large signs for Independance Day displaying the above message had been painted over to read FROM POVERTY TO PROSPERITY . Maybe someone else wondered if they were putting the right message across?
THAT’S WHY IT’S CALLED PRESENT.
Tomorrow Malawi celebrates 45 years of independence. 45years since the end of the British Colonial rule and this is its motto of the day. It somehow sums up how life is lived here, with little provision and planning for the future. Yet another conflicting message for me to try and sort out within the context of the immense poverty and suffering I witness daily. It so makes sense to savour and appreciate the beauty of today. To give thanks for the meal I am about to eat, the friends I spent the day with at the side of beautiful Lake Malawi, the sunset across the African sky as I drove back to Lilongwe, for the fact that I am alive. I love and feel loved. But at a political level where is the grand plan for the future that gives hope to the poor and underprivileged? Hope to the women and babies who continue to die in childbirth due to lack of doctors and midwives to care for them. Hope to the uneducated children, the hungry, the homeless and the sick. It is obviously a mystery. The ruling party was re elected recently with a huge majority. The new budget was announced on Friday. The civil servants will receive a 15% pay rise.( ALL civil servants.) The rich continue to get richer and for the nurses, 15% of very,very, little still remains at very little! Malawi is moving on but Malawi has a long way to go.
My niece Abigail and her friend have been staying with us for the past 3 weeks. They are both medical students and were able to accompany me on labour ward a few times observing and learning basic procedures. They also took some trips out into the villages to follow up some of my babies. The triplets are doing extremely well and we are continuing to support them with the provision of formula milk powder to supplement breast feeding. They live in a particularly poor village suburb of Lilongwe just 20 minutes drive from the centre. When we arrived for the first visit we were appalled at the number of very drunk men who came out to greet us. This was not like any other village I had been to. The feeling was not good. We immediately became aware of the lack of community spirit and family support groups that are present in most villages. I will continue to visit for as long as they need our support.
Lucas left with them last Friday. He will spend a month with his daddy in Valencia. He was really excited to be seeing all the family both in UK and Spain. The house is very quiet without him. I miss his happy chatter and his cheeky face.
However it is a good time for me to be alone as the organizing and planning details for the new maternity unit are taking up a huge amount of my time. To such extent that I have left labour ward for a while and am dedicating myself to help ensure that the final ordering and delivery of the furniture and equipment is taking place. I am also involved in the orientation and adaptation of the new staff for the unit. I am leading a weekly team building session for these nurse/midwives, part of which is making visits to the new buildings to try and familiarize ourselves with the totally new environment before we move in. These are important sessions which are also about creating enthusiasm and excitement for the project and helping the staff to feel prepared for change. The new labour ward is a totally innovative concept here in Africa. Each woman will have her own individual room for labour and birth. The potential for this unit is vast as we become more woman centred. Concepts such as privacy, freedom of movement, birthing options, male involvement, presence of guardians or family members, informed choice leading to increasingly empowering women, are all new and will need to be sensitively approached and gradually implemented. I feel very fortunate to be able to be involved at this time and help to lead the way to change.
Staffing, or should I say lack of it, is still our biggest challenge. To this end we are trying to find ways of attracting more staff to the new unit. One of these ways is through the sponsorship of student midwives who would then bond themselves to work on the new unit for a period of 2 years after training. If anyone is interested in this type of support please contact me.
Yesterday I received the first delivery of equipment. 20 new beds were put into the new labour ward rooms! It was an emotional and exciting moment. I have become increasingly involved in this project during my 18months here at Bwaila but the congratulations must go to those who initiated and believed in it from its conception over 4 years ago. Their dream of providing the poorest women and babies of Lilongwe a decent, respectful place to birth will soon become reality. We who have moved in since will help them to achieve that dream.
As I drove to the hospital this morning I noticed that the large signs for Independance Day displaying the above message had been painted over to read FROM POVERTY TO PROSPERITY . Maybe someone else wondered if they were putting the right message across?
Saturday, 13 June 2009
THREE AT ONCE
This month I had triplets! Can you imagine the challenge and the joy to receive not one nor two but three babies into this world? Of course in the developed world this would most likely have been the result of assisted reproduction methods and most certainly be delivered by elective c/section. With an operating theatre full of medical staff, technology and equipment you would have missed out on the miracle of mother nature who reminds me time and again of her incredible capacity to get things right. A twin pregnancy had already been confirmed but we weren’t expecting number three! After the first little girl had been born weighing 1.7kg. with no problems and a healthy cry we listened and examined for number two. I commented that her abdomen seemed quite large and was therefore a little nervous of number two who was presenting as a breech( bum first) “ I suppose there could be three!” I exclaimed jokingly. We decided to have a look with our portable scanner. We were all surprised to find two heads and not one but most of all the mother! She would pass from being mum to 2 directly to mum to 5! Number two was soon out, a little more complicated and in need of some resuscitation, but a healthy 2.5kg. So where was the last one? With the two girls out little brother put his head down and was easily pushed out by his very strong and capable mum. At just 1.4kg I wondered how he would fare. Two hours later mum was up and in the shower to wash both herself and her dirty linen. I called for her ‘guardian’ (her mother) to come and help though I’m sure she would have managed quite well on her own! Through a translator I was able to make her understand that I would support her to raise these children under the condition that she spent some days in our ‘kangaroo care room’ until the littlest one was beginning to gain weight and become strong. She agreed. And so it was that both mother and grandmother spent 10 days carrying the little ones on their chests ensuring then warmth the close physical contact most needed for them to thrive. Eventually the women started becoming anxious and impatient to get home. I finally discharged them last Tuesday with the little boy now weighing 1.550kg. It was necessary to supplement her breast milk with some formula milk ( after all we women only have two breasts!) It is rather expensive and totally unaffordable for most of our women. I promised we would visit 2 days later and bring more milk. So we set off this afternoon to try and find them! Linda from MUM’S RECIPES,(one of my present sponsors) came too as she has been closely involved over the past months in following up the orphans and needy babies from our nursery. Doreen (Lucas’ nanny) was there as our reliable translator so that meant that Luki came too. As usual for first visits it proved to be much further away than we thought! After passing through the densely populated outskirts of the city, almost slum conditions, we ventured into the more rural area. Eventually we picked up a local guy who knew where they lived. I guess that there are not so many families around with three new babies! It’s not uncommon when asking for directions, especially in the more outlying districts, for some totally unknown local (or two) to jump in the car to show you the way! It took some getting used to on my part, especially the smells that often accompany them! We arrived at her mud hut. It was very obvious from the start that this was one of the poorest areas. Accompanied by what seemed like the whole village both adults and children we entered in side to greet Agness and her babies. I am pleased to say they were all looking remarkably good. Wrapped up in a huge number of brightly coloured local cloths they felt warm and snug. She was looking after the babies well. We watched how the tiny boy suckled strongly at her breast,( In Europe he would probably still be in and incubator) and I checked that she was mixing the milk powder correctly and with some level of hygiene. Whilst we were there a young girl who looked about 8 but was actually 11 years old entered the hut carrying a small baby on her back. We were informed that it was her baby brother, that she could not go to school as she had to look after the baby since their mother died of Cholera 2 months ago. And so it goes on. Everywhere you go, everywhere you look there is need . So much need. Real genuine need. Linda will organize a visit to the family to find out the whole situation and assess how we can help. We cannot turn our backs for Malawi is full of orphans, Malawi is full of poverty but we can do our best.
Having written so long and so detailed of my triplets I will just try and summarize other events....
Labour ward is still busy, happy, sad, frustrating, squashed, smelly, fun, challenging, depressing, dramatic and unacceptably dirty....but I love it!
The new unit at Bwaila is almost finished so we will very soon be handing it over to the District Health Authority.
The container of equipment has arrived from Norway. The furniture and other materials are ordered. Some is being made here in Malawi.
I will begin the training and team building of the new staff next week. I have been encouraged by the enthusiasm shown by midwifery colleagues recently.
There is only one more week of school for Lucas before the start of the long holidays. He will be in Spain for 5 weeks with his Dad in that time.
I will be coming to Europe at the end of July for a break before returning for to Bwaila for the opening of the new unit
Having ‘lost my way’ for a time last week, with profound feelings of confusion and hopelessness I am now more positive and balanced.
.....This is the first challenge, to keep ourselves up. To stand upright for a reason.
Having written so long and so detailed of my triplets I will just try and summarize other events....
Labour ward is still busy, happy, sad, frustrating, squashed, smelly, fun, challenging, depressing, dramatic and unacceptably dirty....but I love it!
The new unit at Bwaila is almost finished so we will very soon be handing it over to the District Health Authority.
The container of equipment has arrived from Norway. The furniture and other materials are ordered. Some is being made here in Malawi.
I will begin the training and team building of the new staff next week. I have been encouraged by the enthusiasm shown by midwifery colleagues recently.
There is only one more week of school for Lucas before the start of the long holidays. He will be in Spain for 5 weeks with his Dad in that time.
I will be coming to Europe at the end of July for a break before returning for to Bwaila for the opening of the new unit
Having ‘lost my way’ for a time last week, with profound feelings of confusion and hopelessness I am now more positive and balanced.
.....This is the first challenge, to keep ourselves up. To stand upright for a reason.
Monday, 25 May 2009
LEARNING TO LIVE WITH LESS
I have not been motivated to write my blog these last weeks. I’m not sure why that is. My days are full to the brim there are never enough hours in the day. There’s so much to do I sometimes find the task overwhelming. After a second visit by the director of The Rose Project and afterwards the Norwegian person responsible for procurement of equipment and furniture for the new unit I was left with the task of finalizing these orders assuring that what is needed is actually the correct specification and readily available. Some will be imported from Norway, others from South Africa or Kenya and the rest made locally. The buildings are now almost completed except for some last minute changes that have still to be finished.
Apart from these practicalities I am also working on the identifying and training of the members of the new health team. Due to the huge shortage of nurses/midwives in Malawi, staff will be brought in from many different areas. Some from the health centres, others from administrative positions and others will be nurses that have left the profession and are now being encouraged to return. In practise this means that the new unit will be staffed by a whole new team who have never worked together. This is a daunting task. The nurses and midwives, the colleagues I have been working with for the past 18 months will not form part of this group but will be taken to the other new maternity wing at the Central Hospital. I somehow feel I will be starting all over again . Starting once again to build up the relationships, the trust and the confidence which is vital for my continued work. This overwhelms me at times but I believe I am strong enough to do this.
Daily I am faced with conflicts and confusions within myself. I continue to find that life in Africa and here at Bwaila takes me to my limits and beyond. Not only practically, where my increasing experience in the area of obstetric complications allows me to respond to emergency and often life saving situations, but also emotionally as I try to empower my colleagues in their work and develop their own skills, often in the light of an almost generalized apathy, lack of urgency, responsibility or accountability. I remind myself frequently of Tarek’s words: “ Rachel, we are not looking for ‘Super Midwives’, just normal midwives who do their job.” So I endeavour to live with less, rather than more. I don’t accept it as right but I do have to learn to live with it. Less care, less caring, less vigilance, less ability, less accountability, less possibilities, less opportunities......... How difficult it is to stand back and let things be, let things take their course, allow change to happen slowly, give time. If we always do it, if we always point out that it’s not quite right, if we always make the decisions, if we can always do it better, little by little we are reducing confidence, we are undermining ability we are disempowering. I am here to empower the women of Malawi, to empower their health workers, to teach them skills, to give example but also to love and respect their differences. Not to want to make them like us but to accompany them in their journey towards a better and fairer future.
May has been a Spanish month with the arrival of Teresa a midwife from Valencia and Carmen and Carlos from Zaragoza. Teresa has been staying with us speaking only Spanish to Lucas. This has been wonderful for him as he prepares for a months’ holiday with his Dad in July. Bravely adapting to life at Bwaila with the usual conflicts and traumas that accompany the first few weeks of work here, she has been able to give some very special care to the mothers and babies she has attended. Those women and babies she has touched will know of something better because of her and she will grow and learn and love because of them. The Zaragoza team arrived full of expectations for their proposal to aid our work here at Bwaila/KCH. We soon encountered the recurring challenge of time commitment. Although understanding the huge potential out there of professionals wishing to give of their skills and knowledge to our work we find it extremely difficult to get them to commit to anything but short stays. We truly believe that a six month period is the minimum needed to be able to really contribute successfully. Adaptation takes time, understanding of the bigger picture in that whatever we do must lead to maximum sustainability, empowerment and confidence building cannot be achieved in a few weeks. It was therefore difficult to find a way to fit their plan to our needs. It will be good to find a way forward for these type of offers.
Lucas keeps well and keeps me on my toes. He ‘Ran for his Life’ ( sponsored run for wildlife!) last weekend. I was so proud of him as he completed 12 laps (12kms.) Running non stop for an hour. Needless to say , for those that know me, I encouraged him loudly from the side line without joining in! This morning I watched him run the 1,500m ‘open.’ Racing against boys of up to 12 years old he came in 10th of 12 runners. He was the only boy in his year that gave it a try which says something for his determination. Tomorrow is Sports Day, then only 3 more weeks until end of term. My niece arrives next week which we are looking forward to. Friends continue to love and support us and life in Malawi is good. My wonderful children keep us up to date with their busy lives and although we miss them so much it’s good to know they are happy and healthy. I will be back in Europe for a short stay at the end of July before returning for the opening of the new unit to face the difficult but exciting times ahead.
Apart from these practicalities I am also working on the identifying and training of the members of the new health team. Due to the huge shortage of nurses/midwives in Malawi, staff will be brought in from many different areas. Some from the health centres, others from administrative positions and others will be nurses that have left the profession and are now being encouraged to return. In practise this means that the new unit will be staffed by a whole new team who have never worked together. This is a daunting task. The nurses and midwives, the colleagues I have been working with for the past 18 months will not form part of this group but will be taken to the other new maternity wing at the Central Hospital. I somehow feel I will be starting all over again . Starting once again to build up the relationships, the trust and the confidence which is vital for my continued work. This overwhelms me at times but I believe I am strong enough to do this.
Daily I am faced with conflicts and confusions within myself. I continue to find that life in Africa and here at Bwaila takes me to my limits and beyond. Not only practically, where my increasing experience in the area of obstetric complications allows me to respond to emergency and often life saving situations, but also emotionally as I try to empower my colleagues in their work and develop their own skills, often in the light of an almost generalized apathy, lack of urgency, responsibility or accountability. I remind myself frequently of Tarek’s words: “ Rachel, we are not looking for ‘Super Midwives’, just normal midwives who do their job.” So I endeavour to live with less, rather than more. I don’t accept it as right but I do have to learn to live with it. Less care, less caring, less vigilance, less ability, less accountability, less possibilities, less opportunities......... How difficult it is to stand back and let things be, let things take their course, allow change to happen slowly, give time. If we always do it, if we always point out that it’s not quite right, if we always make the decisions, if we can always do it better, little by little we are reducing confidence, we are undermining ability we are disempowering. I am here to empower the women of Malawi, to empower their health workers, to teach them skills, to give example but also to love and respect their differences. Not to want to make them like us but to accompany them in their journey towards a better and fairer future.
May has been a Spanish month with the arrival of Teresa a midwife from Valencia and Carmen and Carlos from Zaragoza. Teresa has been staying with us speaking only Spanish to Lucas. This has been wonderful for him as he prepares for a months’ holiday with his Dad in July. Bravely adapting to life at Bwaila with the usual conflicts and traumas that accompany the first few weeks of work here, she has been able to give some very special care to the mothers and babies she has attended. Those women and babies she has touched will know of something better because of her and she will grow and learn and love because of them. The Zaragoza team arrived full of expectations for their proposal to aid our work here at Bwaila/KCH. We soon encountered the recurring challenge of time commitment. Although understanding the huge potential out there of professionals wishing to give of their skills and knowledge to our work we find it extremely difficult to get them to commit to anything but short stays. We truly believe that a six month period is the minimum needed to be able to really contribute successfully. Adaptation takes time, understanding of the bigger picture in that whatever we do must lead to maximum sustainability, empowerment and confidence building cannot be achieved in a few weeks. It was therefore difficult to find a way to fit their plan to our needs. It will be good to find a way forward for these type of offers.
Lucas keeps well and keeps me on my toes. He ‘Ran for his Life’ ( sponsored run for wildlife!) last weekend. I was so proud of him as he completed 12 laps (12kms.) Running non stop for an hour. Needless to say , for those that know me, I encouraged him loudly from the side line without joining in! This morning I watched him run the 1,500m ‘open.’ Racing against boys of up to 12 years old he came in 10th of 12 runners. He was the only boy in his year that gave it a try which says something for his determination. Tomorrow is Sports Day, then only 3 more weeks until end of term. My niece arrives next week which we are looking forward to. Friends continue to love and support us and life in Malawi is good. My wonderful children keep us up to date with their busy lives and although we miss them so much it’s good to know they are happy and healthy. I will be back in Europe for a short stay at the end of July before returning for the opening of the new unit to face the difficult but exciting times ahead.
Thursday, 23 April 2009
OK FOR AFRICA STUFF
I am just not going to apologize any more for writing so infrequently. I really don’t find the time as my work here continues to diversify. From catching babies on labour ward, to teaching both in and out of the classroom, co-ordinating for the set up and running of the new maternity unit and a mountain of others areas in which I seem to have become involved, writing my blog seems to have dropped very low on my list of priorities. I know it is the only way that some of you manage to keep in touch so I will continue as often as I can. I do think of you all often even though you don’t hear from me.
Wednesday was a particularly busy day on labour ward. I am finding it increasingly difficult to find a day when I can spend my whole time on the ward without the interruptions of my other responsibilities. I do enjoy it very much and am therefore reminded where my true love lies. It was one of those days when nothing seemed to go normally. I attended more obstetric pathology in that day then many would see in a month or more! I continue to be reminded of the awful situations that women are facing daily through lack of money, education and resources. At one point in the afternoon we had 4 women queuing up for their emergency c/section. There was great debate as to who should go first. The woman who had arrived with us in such a critical state we just didn’t know how we could save her life. Her 30 week fetus had been dead for some time. She had started to labour a few days ago in her village. The labour became obstructed and her uterus ruptured spilling out the infected necrotic matter into her abdominal cavity .The only answer was surgery to remove the baby and the uterus, but her condition was so critical it would be dangerous to operate. We had no choice, so she went to theatre. As I prepared her, pumping her full of antibiotics, I talked to her and caressed her poor distended semi conscious body hoping she would at least understand the tone of my voice or the touch of my hands if not the words that I spoke. It still amazes me that women can reach such a severe state before finding their way to our doors. Another mother had arrived at the same time. Her labour had been obstructed for many hours. She was exhausted and the baby was severely distressed, but it was alive......so she went first!
My priority on labour ward at this time is the clinical teaching of our midwifery students. There are many students and few trained staff. It is difficult to ensure that they are always supervised and mistakes occur due to their inexperience. I spend my time passing from bed to bed watching over them, asking questions, giving explanations, teaching, showing, guiding, repeating the same things over and over again, but I never tire as I see them respond and improve and learn. This particular woman had been labouring all day. About the same time as the 2 emergencies arrived she was showing signs that she may not be able to deliver vaginally. We had been watching the baby carefully and were starting to think of sending her for a c/section. This was now out of the question. She would have to wait her turn which as things were looking could be more than 3 hours. I waited as long as I could but the baby’s condition continued to deteriorate. I decided to try a vacuum extraction. Thanks to my years in Acuario where I had truly been learning the ‘art’ of midwifery and learnt to develop and trust my instincts as a midwife, I had become able to judge whether a baby could be born vaginally even in some of the most difficult circumstances. (There are still times when one never can be sure so would therefore opt for a c/section, just in case) But I had no choice. It really wasn’t easy and there were moments when I felt like giving up but that would be condemning the baby to certain death, so I slowly, very slowly continued. I should also say that our equipment is not the best. Parts are missing and pumps don’t work. It’s all manual no machines and no modern stuff. ( Do you realize the amount of second rate, out of date, what no one else wants things we receive......it’s not good enough for the rich but it’s OK for Africa stuff!) Eventually the little one was born. My colleague resuscitated the baby and I took him to nursery. This morning he was off oxygen and suckling at his mother’s breast! Amazing! Yes it feels good, but no, it’s not good. They should have had the possibility of a c/section.
The director of The Rose Project will arrive in Malawi on Monday. Discussions will take place to finalize the details for the handing over of the new unit to the District Health Authority. The buildings are nearly ready and the equipment and furniture is starting to arrive. These are exciting but scary times. Staffing, or lack of, is still a problem. Adapting to the new environment is going to be a huge challenge. I am spending much time confronting these issues on all levels and in all aspects.
Lucas returned to school after his Easter break. He was happy to be back. This term his after school activities include athletics, chess, cross-country running and kick-ball (whatever that is?)When we arrived last year he found it difficult to express himself in English. Now there’s no stopping him! We have a deal whereby at least 2 days a week we only speak Spanish and of course Aragorn, Legolas and Gimmle only speak Spanish!
Wednesday was a particularly busy day on labour ward. I am finding it increasingly difficult to find a day when I can spend my whole time on the ward without the interruptions of my other responsibilities. I do enjoy it very much and am therefore reminded where my true love lies. It was one of those days when nothing seemed to go normally. I attended more obstetric pathology in that day then many would see in a month or more! I continue to be reminded of the awful situations that women are facing daily through lack of money, education and resources. At one point in the afternoon we had 4 women queuing up for their emergency c/section. There was great debate as to who should go first. The woman who had arrived with us in such a critical state we just didn’t know how we could save her life. Her 30 week fetus had been dead for some time. She had started to labour a few days ago in her village. The labour became obstructed and her uterus ruptured spilling out the infected necrotic matter into her abdominal cavity .The only answer was surgery to remove the baby and the uterus, but her condition was so critical it would be dangerous to operate. We had no choice, so she went to theatre. As I prepared her, pumping her full of antibiotics, I talked to her and caressed her poor distended semi conscious body hoping she would at least understand the tone of my voice or the touch of my hands if not the words that I spoke. It still amazes me that women can reach such a severe state before finding their way to our doors. Another mother had arrived at the same time. Her labour had been obstructed for many hours. She was exhausted and the baby was severely distressed, but it was alive......so she went first!
My priority on labour ward at this time is the clinical teaching of our midwifery students. There are many students and few trained staff. It is difficult to ensure that they are always supervised and mistakes occur due to their inexperience. I spend my time passing from bed to bed watching over them, asking questions, giving explanations, teaching, showing, guiding, repeating the same things over and over again, but I never tire as I see them respond and improve and learn. This particular woman had been labouring all day. About the same time as the 2 emergencies arrived she was showing signs that she may not be able to deliver vaginally. We had been watching the baby carefully and were starting to think of sending her for a c/section. This was now out of the question. She would have to wait her turn which as things were looking could be more than 3 hours. I waited as long as I could but the baby’s condition continued to deteriorate. I decided to try a vacuum extraction. Thanks to my years in Acuario where I had truly been learning the ‘art’ of midwifery and learnt to develop and trust my instincts as a midwife, I had become able to judge whether a baby could be born vaginally even in some of the most difficult circumstances. (There are still times when one never can be sure so would therefore opt for a c/section, just in case) But I had no choice. It really wasn’t easy and there were moments when I felt like giving up but that would be condemning the baby to certain death, so I slowly, very slowly continued. I should also say that our equipment is not the best. Parts are missing and pumps don’t work. It’s all manual no machines and no modern stuff. ( Do you realize the amount of second rate, out of date, what no one else wants things we receive......it’s not good enough for the rich but it’s OK for Africa stuff!) Eventually the little one was born. My colleague resuscitated the baby and I took him to nursery. This morning he was off oxygen and suckling at his mother’s breast! Amazing! Yes it feels good, but no, it’s not good. They should have had the possibility of a c/section.
The director of The Rose Project will arrive in Malawi on Monday. Discussions will take place to finalize the details for the handing over of the new unit to the District Health Authority. The buildings are nearly ready and the equipment and furniture is starting to arrive. These are exciting but scary times. Staffing, or lack of, is still a problem. Adapting to the new environment is going to be a huge challenge. I am spending much time confronting these issues on all levels and in all aspects.
Lucas returned to school after his Easter break. He was happy to be back. This term his after school activities include athletics, chess, cross-country running and kick-ball (whatever that is?)When we arrived last year he found it difficult to express himself in English. Now there’s no stopping him! We have a deal whereby at least 2 days a week we only speak Spanish and of course Aragorn, Legolas and Gimmle only speak Spanish!
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